general

“Life is an adventure or nothing at all.” I love that quote from Helen Keller who was born blind and deaf.  Cindy and I live this out daily. For the day of our 20th anniversary we decided to celebrate by getting into a new sport: paddleboarding. We had tried once before and got hooked.  So we went again to Carlsbad Lagoon close to our home in San Diego.

Much in life is paralleled in the paddleboarding experience.  Here are some lessons I learned.

• Be balanced. – Even with such a big board it takes effort to stay centered. It is the same with life.
• Keep a smooth flow. –  I tried to muscle my way through paddling and it just got me tired.  Long full strokes it what makes the board work. Keeping focused on long term goals and plodding on is what moves us forward in life.
• Enjoy the view. – You can see so much standing on the board.  In the same way,  look around and see the beauty God is placed all around you.

Twice a year my wife and I are teacher’s assistants for Biola’s Rock climbing classes.  As I train others to overcome obstacles of rock and fear I find that I am learning so much about myself in the process.

I Need Help

I come from a hard working independent “get R done” background.  The philosophy was you make it happen, no matter how hard.  I find myself trying to do things on my own and gutting it through.  However in Rock Climbing you need a belayer who holds the rope for you.  They keep you safe when you fall and you can depend on them. When I am in trouble, I need to find and depend on people who will be there when I fall. It is so valuable to have an accountability partner who knows you at your weakest and accepts you for who you are.

I Need Encouragement

Rock climbing is just as much about spiritual strength as it is physical strength.  On the climbing course we take students to a friction face climbing area called Hall of Horrors.  On a couple of climbs the handholds are so small that a quarter sized nub is considered a bombproof hold.  However the biggest obstacle is actually fear.  We have helped beginner climbers make it up these intense 5-10 climbs by encouraging them each and every step of the way.  The students are so shocked when there climbing shoes seem to stick to a sheer face.  And they are elated when they finally make it to the top and scream in triumph!

In the same way we all need encouragement as we face insurmountable obstacles in our paths.  For me it is the daunting task of fund raising.  My position is fully supported by donations of ministry partners who encourage me every step of the way.  in every aspect of my life i need people who won’t let me down off the rock until I accomplish what God has intended for me.

I Need Mentors

Dave Bedell is our climbing instructor.  We call him Dr. Rock.  He is a wise sage when it comes to the outdoors and to life itself.  His wisdom, encouragement and patience has helped many a student to experience breakthrough on the rock.  And those breakthroughs led to the courage to overcome all of life’s obstacles.  Each of us needs a Dr. in our lives who can encourage us and give the wisdom we need to experience the full life of Jesus.

I encourage you today to reach out to others to help encourage you on your journey.  And encourage somebody else on the way.  You may already be somebody’s mentor.

The marathon runner races for the finish line. Nothing else matters. Throwing off everything that encumbers, the goal is the prize.

That is reckless abandon.

Daddy’s arms
I remember a marine helicopter pilot in our church small group with his two year old girl. He throws her high up in the air and she screams with wild delight. There is not a care in her heart as her dad catches her in his strong hands. Living out loud and not hiding my light. Not caring about the critics. Living connected and with Jesus.

Deeper in Love
This world hurls it’s rocks at us and tries to break our spirits. We need to live with reckless abandon as we connect deeper into the love that Jesus has for us. He will not leave or forsake us. He has a vested interest in our success and will catch us.

Not Alone
We need to trust he will be there when we are in the ring fighting the demons in our life. His power works through the Holy Spirit who is in us. We are not alone, that is why we can live with reckless abandon.

Full Life
“I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” John 10:10 The fullness of God leaves no room for our self doubt. He will empower us and give us what we need when we need it.

Are you living with reckless abandon? Are you fully devoted to Him who loves you intimately? “I am the vine you are the branches. Abide in me an I will abide in you.” That is the promise He made to us.

Abandon. I need to abandon my hurt my pain, my struggle, my discouragement, my sorrow, my sin and my shame. I need to abandon my life. When you lose your life you will gain eternal life. That is life now and for all eternity.

“I blew it again!”

How many times have I said this phrase… and meant it. It seems life is full of poor choices. Whether it is being hotheaded in a relationship or entertaining secret sins, our bad choices follow us wherever we go.  As they pile up they erode our character and ability to influence others in positive ways.

So how do we overcome these bad choices?

Well, the following has helped me when I find I have failed again.

Repent 

Every bad choice is a good choice that was not made. The first thing is to acknowledge what I did was wrong and to turn away from it. That can come in asking for forgiveness from God and those that have been wronged. It can even mean forgiving yourself for the failure.

Refocus

When we have blown it the Enemy comes in and tries to take us down. That is why it is so important to refocus on who God made us and His purpose for our lives. God loves us unconditionally and accepts us the way we are. By acknowledging who we are in Christ we break the cycle of shame and guilt. In this it is important to have a people around us who we trust who can help realign our lives with the truth of scripture.

Replace

Our bad choices are motivated by deeper unmet needs in our life. Security, belonging and significance are at the core of our being. When we make bad choices we need to understand the underlying motivation and meet it with a healthy choice. For instance, If I find myself overeating I need to ask why I am choosing this. Am I feeling bored? Lonely? Insecure? I then need to seek a healthy alternative to meet this need. It may be as simple as taking a walk or listening to good music.

Redeem

The ultimate goal is to break the cycle and help others to do the same. Redeem means to buy back or realize potential. There will be consequences for our actions that we will need to face. Redemption means we pay for the loss our choice creates in whatever way we can and move forward.

As we overcome bad choices it gives us strength make better choices in the future. Our experience then gives us wisdom to help others who are facing the same temptations.

My wife and I are preparing to go on a weekend backpacking trip with Biola University college students who have varying levels of back country skills.  Their success on their trip depends highly on what they choose to bring with them.

 With backpacking everything that you need must be taken with you. That is the challenge for any distance travelled will be with all that stuff. So it becomes a balance between comfort and necessity.

In preparation for the trip the question is, “What to bring and what to leave?”  The  packing process becomes a series of trade offs. Do I take the chair with me that weighs one pound or do I sit on a rock when I camp? Will it rain? How much food will I need? What if my boots blow out? Should I bring another pair?

The same is true for leading students. In our lives there is an abundance of opportunities to fit into a limited amount of time. Every leader will have to prioritize what they do to influence others around them.

Here are two questions that help in the preparation process to being an effective leader.

What will I keep?

The good is always the enemy of the best. There are so many things that will crowd out what is most important. Determining what is essential helps us to know how to prepare. That is why I recommend developing a personal mission statement. It is a synthesis of who you are and how God intends for you to influence others.

What will I leave behind?

Before every backpacking trip we do the “pack dump.” We have every participant pull all of their items out and determine what is essential and what is not necessary. Sometimes things get packed that are not necessities. I remember one student bringing a Bible commentary and a foot and a half long flashlight with him! Another brought a metal Bible that weighed a ton!

In the same way, we sometimes put in our lives what is not important and carry that burden with us. Instead, we need to schedule what is important first and then see what else fits.

Preparing for your journey

As you look to mentor students for the journey of life it is so important to have others taking the journey with you. That is why I advocate joining a ministry network of like minded people in your area. If you are a youth worker and not connected into a network. I  recommend going to www.youthworkers.net/networks to find a ministry network close to you.

The most important step in leadership is winning the victory over oneself. Here are some guides to help in personal leadership.

• Refocus Daily. A leader is transformed by solitude. The voice of God speaks loudest when it is the only voice heard.  Take time daily to focus on identity and purpose.
• Manage Energy. Time management is not effective unless one manages their energy. By acting on priorities and overcoming power drains goals are effectively accomplished.  The question is “What are the most important things I can do today to accomplish my mission?
• Set Goals. Goals are unrealized dreams with deadlines and action steps. Dream big. Plan small. Ask yourself the question, “What steps can I take today to accomplish my goals?”
• Clarify No’s.  In understanding our identity we must also look at who we are not. Many people would script us by their values. A leader chooses to not do certain activities because they do not line up with their mission in life.
• Celebrate Successes. The small victories lead to greater accomplishments. Celebrate every step.
• Embrace Criticism. The critique of others can help us to grow in ways we do not see for ourselves. The art is to assess the critique to become better and not bitter.
• Examine Emotions. Emotions are powerful and can sometimes blind us to the facts. In emotional situations reexamine the facts to see if they line up with reality. HALT on big decisions. Refrain from making big decisions when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

Here is a partial list of lessons I have learned the hard way or have gleaned from other people’s experiences.

• When possible choose your climbing partners wisely. Your life may depend on it!
• Work together.
• Be prepared to lead through weakness.
• Utilize the talents of your team.
• Listen to the conservative vote.
• Prepare well for all situations.
• Listen to experience.
• Leave yourself options.
• Realize the value of life.
• Set your goals high and break them down into small pieces.
• Always do a pack dump – release what can you do without.
• Seek the higher road.